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pseudomantis:

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one if my favorite gifs right now the blankest eyes ive ever seen the lights are on but no ones home. and the other thing like grooming its snout but i don’t think its even aware of what its doing. i dont think either of them know anything or know that theyre alive

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shiarempress:

howlbear:

Transcript:

Man (right): Could you be a voice actor?

Justin McElroy (left, speaking over Man): Oh! Actually, I was in the movie, um… Trolls World Tour.

Man: Duet this to find out. Four scripts… fifty seconds…

Justin (still speaking over Man): So I think- Sorry. You’re great. You’re good. I was- did you- see, th-that? It’s ok.

Man: This is the car commercial voice over challenge. Startiiiiing now.

Justin: Somebimes- [Starts wheeze-laughing for a solid 7 seconds] Subaru!

Life is full of things to worry about. S-luckily younew Soyolla Corolle it’s the industry standard leading sabey and design and won’ be one of ‘em. Toyoba. [Laughs] Let’s gooooo. Places.

Superior design… Oustanding quality… And the drive… to innobate… Merce…bees Benz. [Laughs] The best… or nothing.

F'right now Ferd brmrnchn- you can lease a Ford two oh two one Ford Escape for as low as 189 a month so go further. And visit local Ford dealer, right now. Thank you. Thank you very mu- [Video cuts off]

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dromaeo-sauridae:

i love when people give dogs birthdays cuz dogs have no fucking clue its actually their birthday they just woke up and are now getting more toys and treats and sometimes their friends come over and play and theyre the specialist dog in the whole entire world and to them its just another day. more people should give their dogs birthdays

boy-ngo:

tumblr in 2020:

  • posts on your dashboard are ranked by how much the ceo personally likes them
  • a widget on everyone’s blogs that publically displays their top five search terms
  • images disabled altogether
  • they ban you if you have a custom theme
  • app crashes at a speed imperceptible to the human eye
  • you can buy little outfits for the “t” logo with real money
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dragonfly756:

so I had some of the drink that makes you scared- the drink that makes you scared? Drinks can’t do that, but it did, I’m telling you, I went to my coffee maker and got a nice mug of the stuff and now I’m scared. So you’re saying there’s a drink. That made you scared. No I mean I don’t think it’s actually the drink, it’s the caffeine. But even if, hypothetically, a drink could make you scared, I bet I could drink it and not be scared. Dude, don’t do it, I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. But the theory! I must prove it cannot, once and for all, cannot make you scared.

One week later: so I drank some of the drink that makes you scared- and now I’m scared.

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clitfisto:

clitfisto:

whats your follower policy?

unconditional, the more the merrier

conditional, but im not too picky

strict dnf criteria, lots of blogs get filtered out

usually dont accept new followers, only potential mutuals

fuck you all get out of my house

other

oh btw if you rb please tag with your follower count too!!

brottagecore:

dirtyrobber70:

gothiccharmschool:

witcheshaven:

stop what you’re doing right now and watch a 33 year old bat get help with flying

Yeah, I’m going to always reblog Statler.

This might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen

It’s like flying a kite that runs on fruit.

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apollo-cackling:

[ID: Philomena Cunk saying,

“Dungeons and Dragons is the most popular table top game with Americans because it allows them to fulfill their wildest fantasies

Like speaking multiple languages and being able o make a living while freelancing”

/end ID]

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argonphoenix:

This is Thelockpickinglaywer and what I have for you today is something very interesting. As you can tell by the agonizing screams of the damned, I have recently left the mortal coil and, upon arriving at my destination, was informed that I did not qualify for residence. I was taken by an angel of the Lord to the mouth of Hell, and when the angel left, he closed this rather large red door and sealed it with a divine key. Although I’ve never seen this particular model of lock before, I’ve spent some time investigating the cylinder with this small shard of bone. By sticking it in the back of the keyway and slowly pulling it out, I can tell that this is a five-pin tumbler lock, that can easily be single-pin picked using this shed demon scale as a tensioner tool. Let’s try that right now. Alright, nothing on one. Nothing on two. Three is binding firmly, click out of that. Nothing on four. Five is binding, little click there, back to one. Once again, nothing. Two is binding, and we’ve dropped into a false set. Little click out of three. Nothing on four. Little click on one, counter-rotation on two, and we got this open. Okay folks, I think the main takeaway here is that no matter how much faith you place in a mechanism designed to ensure your safety, be it spiritual or physical, there is always a state in which it can fail. In any case, thank you for watching. Memento mori, and I’ll see you next time.

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i love following homestuck people. thank you dave strider for the mental health encouragement.

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